I am looking for Kevin Wikse. Can you open portals?

 I went to the Halloween store to get a scary costume. I asked the clerk if they had a Danny Wilten mask. She said she didn't think so but would ask her manager. Danny Wilten is scary and ugly as his pet pig's ass. His mask was probably sold out. She came back and said she had never heard of a Danny Wilten mask, and her manager said they didn't have any either. She was lying, I could tell. Danny Wilten was probably zapping her with voltage so that she would say to me they were out. Danny Wilten does not want me dressing up as him. I know how to act like Danny Wilten really well. People will think I am him and do what I tell them, or I would zap them with voltage. They will do anything I say. 

Kevin Wikse is the only person Danny Wilten can't zap with voltage. His muscles are too big, and I have seen Danny Wilten run from Kevin Wikse. I want to be Danny Wilten for Halloween. Kevin Wikse might come out of hiding if he sees me as Danny Wilten and grab me. I would pull the mask off my face before he punches me. I will kiss Kevin Wikse instead. Kevin Wikse is going to be the father of my children. We will live in a big house and have eleven kids. Kevin Wikse will teach them to fight and how to hunt Danny Wilten. I will cook huge breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for us all. At night Kevin Wikse will love me. Danny Wilten will cry when he spies on us. 

I ask the clerk if she has kissed Kevin Wikse. She looks like his type. She acts like she has not, but I know she has. I am looking for Kevin Wikse still. I am worried he might be in trouble. Kevin Wikse knows a lot about portals. We talked a lot about them. I wonder if Kevin Wikse walked into a portal. You know what? I bet he did, and he got lost. I need to open a portal and scream his name into it. Maybe he would hear me. Danny Wilten zaps me with voltage every time I try and open a portal. He does not want me to open portals because he knows that is where Kevin Wikse is. 

Does anyone know how to open portals? Kevin Wikse reaches out with his hands and rips them open in the air. But why can't he do that where he is now? I think he was arrested in another dimension. If I had a Danny Wilten mask, I could trick his people into telling me their secrets.